


A Taste for Finer Things

by Lintu



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Implied Ratchet and Pharma, Implied past sexual situations, domestic AU, humanformers au, mentioned vomiting, tfw your BF is an unlucky magnet but you love him anyways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8316913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lintu/pseuds/Lintu
Summary: Aid goes to pop the question, Ambulon hecks it up. Good going, Ambulon.
A big inside joke from a Twitter conversation I've since doodled and drabbles this from typed via my phone for your reading pleasure.





	

"Well you look like hell and back." 

Ratchet really did try his best to keep out of his co-workers personal lives. At the time, he really didn't realize just what was in this can he had opened between the two lower ranked members of his staff. It was just add not to address the fact when one looked like they'd been crying all night, the other wearing an uncharacteristic unamused face. Little did he realize this wasn't going to get a simple answer and be able to go on with his morning coffee.

"Go ahead, Ambulon." First Aid couldn't even manage to hide the annoyed tone in their voice. Sure. All the staff at this hospital had cranky moments. In order to get hired you needed a certain level of snark and sass. This, however, was nothing Ratchet had ever come from the small nurse before. First Aid really wasn't all too angry with their partner, Ratchet could detect just how sleep deprived the young medic was, his guess is that a lack of beauty sleep was making the nurse so irritable. He took another sip from his coffee, waiting to get his answer. "Go ahead and tell Ratchet why you were crying all night."

There was a soft pleaded 'no' from Ambulon's lips, followed by him covering his face with his palms to hide from the tired look First Aid shot him. It had all been one huge accident, and maybe they could have been laughing about it now had he not over reacted. Over reacted was an understatement, as he had kind of cried a majority of the night over his embarrassment. It was a side of him only First Aid ever really got to see, one others would never believe. Still, he had tried to just be romantic and, well, it was all in vain as he had done the opposite, accidentally of course. 

"Tell Ratchet what you swallowed."

Another pleaded 'no' escaped his lips, far softer this time, only now Pharma was unknowingly eavesdropping from the hallway while the other three stood in the hospital's break room. He had come in to torment Ratchet on his lack of taste for instant coffee or some bitter comment nobody truly cared about, when he heard the bickering between the others. Not wanting to be seen just yet, he waited to make his grand entrance.

"Well will one of you just spit it out already, or am I going to need to get you an X-ray to find my answer?" Ratchet was really regretting this now, but if Ambulon had swallowed something truly terrible there was a chance he'd need surgery. Something none of them would want to do.

"I..." Ambulon trailed off. "I swallowed a... I..." He couldn't even get the words out. Voice ever quiet, he shuffled back to sit down at the break room table, embarrassment washing over him once again as the nights events repeated in his head.

"He swallows part of my clit ring, and then spends all night crying about it."

Well. There went Ratchet's coffee, instead of down his throat it soon was spit right back out in a distasteful spray. This was more information he ever wanted to know about the two of them. Sure, yeah, the whole building knew they were a new couple of only because the two had no decency to hide their flirting. But this was an all new level of personal matters becoming public eye. The worst of the statement was just how easily Aid had stated it. Sure. He had his own series of unfortunate and embarrassing personal events, but nothing he would spit so seriously in front of his peers.

As if things couldn't get any worse for Ambulon, Pharma had now made himself known as he was howling with laughter in the doorway, wiping visible tears from his eyes. Another headache, Ratchet grumbled to himself, as the surgeon kept going on and on. Finally Ratchet shooed him out of the break room, following suit and leaving himself. 

Little did Ambulon know, this was going to be life's way of some sick foreshadowing.

\---

It has been years later, yet things still felt somewhat the same. There had been lots of changes; Ambulon had moved into Aid's apartment, the addition of a windowsill spice garden, a few promotions at work. Sure. First Aid was still paying off their student loans from medical school, but they had been saving money secretly on the side. Money for something important, secret and important. They would argue with Ratchet as to not if this was 'more important' than paying for his student loans, but Aid didn't care. Ratchet and Pharma of course disagreed but what do they know? They got fake married years before for the sake of tax benefits and insurance plans. How could they know true romance?

Still, Aid had asked them for ideas on how to go about his secret plan the best way, and for what ever reason, had actually taken Pharma's words and run with them. Which is how First Aid had planed this whole disaster, unknowing just how the night would pan out. 

\--

Ambulon looked to his phone, having received a very cryptic text from his partner. He would be lying if he denied that Aid has been acting off as of recently. They'd been more dodgy than usual, almost as if they'd been hiding something from him. Filled with a nervous air and a paranoia of getting caught. Which, neither of those things was truly abnormal behavior for First Aid, but this was an all new level. An unsettling level, nothing on par with their growing collection of Wreckers memorabilia that Aid insisted on trying to keep on the down low. Ambulon reasoned it was nothing, probably all him misreading the room. It wouldn't be the first time.

Only there was something that sent a nervous wave down his own body with how First Aid had texted him so blunt and to the point. Usually they took at least two paragraphs to convey any sort of idea, so receiving the 'meet me here at this time' message was almost the same as a one-word reply. He was reading too hard to it, making up more than what was really there, but without having any sort of idea what was in store, he simply got ready for his arranged meeting and attempted to swallow some of his nervousness.

\--

It was as perfect as it was going to get, First Aid decided. They'd been together for years and finally, finally, Aid was ready to be the one to move on to the next step with their relationship. Date, move in, get engaged, next up would be to adopt a cat. Sure, there was worry that Ambulon would say no to the engagement proposal, but they tried their best not to become obsessed with those kinds of negative thoughts. This was going to be a great night, Aid told themselves over and over, stacking a plate of chocolate cupcakes onto their dinner table. On top of the highest cupcake, Aid had placed the engagement ring. 

How this was all supposed to play out was, First Aid met Ambulon at this very nice restaurant. Ambulon would sit, Aid would pour him a glass of wine, and when he'd turn to grab one of the cupcakes he'd see the ring and First Aid could pop the question. No hiding boxes, no fumbling and so forth. Fool proof plan. Or. Well. So they thought anyways.

Ambulon met him there as instructed, but Firsf Aid could tell he was preoccupied with his own thoughts. He worse a nervous stare, sitting extremely stiffly, not even really making much eye contact at all. That was fine, Aid could work with this! They'd just, they'd just have to improvise a little, no harm done!

"Hey, how was work today?" 

A gentle question as First Aid poured his drink, offering it to his partner. Ambulon made soft noise of acceptance, taking a shaky sip before placing the wineglass down. To Ambulon, this was it. In his head this was it, First Aid was going to break up with him. Why else would they drag him to some fancy restaurant if it wasn't for that? Avoiding him, acting all nervous, hiding something. It all was adding up in his head, but while his calculations seemed correct Ambulon never factored in that he was truly bad at math. 

Nervous accusations and assumptions kicked in' making it impossible to pay any attention to what Aid was saying so sweetly, all it caused was for the immediate urge to just stress eat. Just stuff his face because if his mouth was full, he didn't have to respond. He fought off the urge, listening to Aid talk, voice as gentle as ever, giving short nods when he felt was appropriate to indicate he was half listening.

"Ambulon? Ambulon are you listening? I'm gonna be right back okay?"

Aid got up, giving him a soft smile, before dipping into the restroom. Panicked they called Ratchet for help, not feeling as confident as they had when this all first started. They'd needed a little pep talk, not getting cold feet but just needing another perspective on how to handle the situation. After all, it was him and Pharma who had given First Aid the cupcake idea in the first place. 

Meanwhile back at the table Ambulon had lost all grips on his self control and had begun to stress binge on the treats set out before him, picking blindly from the side as he tapped his fork to the table top with nervous jitter. Aid was breaking up with him. Probably going to climb out the bathroom window. Where would he go after this? He couldn't go back to their apartment if Aid didn't want him there. What was he going to do? Pharma and Ratchet wouldn't let him crash on their couch, he didn't have his own place anymore, who else did he know that could take him in?

Sudden yelling caught his attention, recognizing it as First Aid's voice. He hadn't even noticed Aid had returned, too busy craving cupcakes into his mouth with desperate bites. Swallowing one of the cupcakes in one nervous gulp, something didn't feel right as he felt it pass down his throat. The look of horror on Aid's face didn't make things feel any better, his gut suddenly giving an angry churn.

"Ambulon! Do you realize what you just did!?"

No? He had been eating what had he done!? He started to scan the table, looking for some sort of context clue. Was he not supposed to eat the food? Was that why Aid was mad? He was striking out so hard, so god damn hard.

"Did you not notice!? Did you really not notice the four thousand dollar engagement ring on the cup cake you just ate!?"

Other people were starting to look over now, Aid visibly trembling as they had no idea how to cope with the fact their boyfriend had gulped months of savings in under 30 seconds. It was hard to feel the audience of watching eyes as the gravity of the situation finally settled in.

"Oh my god-"

"Ambulon!"

"I swallowed, I swallowed a ring--"

"How did you not see it!?"

"I was nervous!!"

The two shared a few more nervous exclamations, not really sure how to proceed this, before they both fell into an awkward silence.

"You mean you weren't leaving me?"

"Ambulon, I wanted to get engaged to you!"

That should have been a warm fluffy feeling, instead the knowledge that he had swallowed his very own engagement ring left him with a pit in his stomach. Any thoughts immediately came to a halt as First Aid tugged him up and out of the seat.

"Where are--"

"You're going with me into the bathroom right now and you're going to throw it back up"

"Aid, I don't think-"

"You're going to spit it back up, you can't, you ate the ring Ambulon."

Not really having an opposing argument, Ambulon followed behind with such misery, not even sure he would be able to force himself to vomit with the performance anxiety settling in. He slouched to the sink, not really sure what to do in this case. While he was nauseous from the stress, Ambulon truly doubted that he'd have any luck getting the ring to come back up.

Meanwhile, Aid was at his side, one hand resting on his back rubbing soothing circles while the other held their cellphone to their ear. As soon as Ratchet picked up Aid could hear Pharma in the background, complaining about something, clearly he wasn't interrupting anything important. 

"He swallowed the ring."

"What?" There was a chorus, followed by one set of laughter on the other end. Pharma, of course. Aid could hear Ratchet lower his glass down with agitation in the background, Pharma having the time of his life.

"Ambulon. He swallowed the ring. I left for two minutes and he swallowed it!"

The wheezed laughter from Pharma was audible through the phone even from where Ambulon was hunched, only making the situation twenty times worse. Great. Now Pharma had an all new thing to tease him about at work. But that was a lesser thought in his mind, as the fact that the ring was still inside of him was still the issue.

"Aid, just give it a day or two to pass, if not we can check at the hospital and discuss surgery options then."

Aid sighed at Ratchet's words, hanging up the phone and just leaning into Ambulon's back, nose pressed to his shoulder blade. There was a heavy silence that filled the restroom, one neither was sure how to break.

"Yes."

Aid rose their head, not sure they understood the statement.

"Ring, or no ring, I'm saying yes."

Aid soon found themselves giving the other an all too tight hug, not really up for much speaking right now. Slowly the two rose to their feet, a mutual decision to get out of this restaurant before anything else could go not according to plan. Aid paid for their dinner, or lack thereof, and apologized for their little outburst. As soon as that was taken care of, hand in hand they made their way to the metro line, ready to catch their line home so they could at least deal with this in privacy. 

\--

If there had been any anger, it was far extinguished by now. A feeling of defeat washed over both of them as they called out of work sick for the next two days, Aid making Ambulon a comfy blanket nest on their couch to keep him comfortable while lying as flat as possible. Hardly straying from his side, First Aid mostly knelt besides the couch, resting arm and head against broad chest, their free hand rubbing soothing circles over Ambulon's upset stomach. There was no way it wasn't from stress or his nerves, which made Aid feel far worse about the situation, but they were determined to provide the most comfort that they could given be circumstances. 

Gentle pecks over his jawline turned to lazy neck nuzzles as the two finally wound down to sleep. They both really couldn't force rush this as much as they'd love to, so it was best to just rest as much as they could for the time being.

\--

Unfortunately, they never got the ring, and Ambulon was prepped for surgery. First Aid could best describe Pharma's enthusiasm for wanting to proceed with the procedure as unsettling at the least. Either way, they gave little parting hand squeezes, and Ambulon was soon carted off for a series of procedures. Pharma hadn't gone Into detail, but Aid assumed Ambulon would need some form of endoscopy or colonoscopy just to locate where the ring was, which would take a few hours at the least. 

Soon enough Ambulon was carted out in a wheelchair, Pharma grinning ear to ear with the ring tightly contained in what Aid recognized as a fresh urine sample container. Classy. Still, upon hearing Pharma's report on the surgery, said was glad to hear that there had been no infections or cuts inflicted from the sharp metal edges on poor Ambulon's insides. Taking the container gingerly, Aid rattled it in front of his hazy partners face. 

"Aren't you happy you can actually see the ring I chose for you?"

The two laughed, for the first time since this whole thing happened, and Aid was more than excited to push Ambulon gently into his room so that Ratchet could give him one last look over before clearing him to go home and rest up. Though once aid got Ambulon up into his bed, both of them watching the door for Ratchet, Aid noticed a smaller box on the counter by the sink with Ambulon's name on it.

Carefully he brought it over, letting the other gently pull apart the flaps. Inside was, what Aid recognized as two mood rings on necklace chains. Confused, he turned to Ambulon, who had made a sour face at the attached letter only to pass it off to Aid to look over for themselves.

'Ambulon,  
Try not to eat these as well, as we have come to see you have a taste for jewelry.   
If I can make a suggestion, instead of wedding bands, perhaps you two should make friendship bracelets instead. I would be more than happy to fetch you a kit as your wedding present. No need to thank me in advance.  
Pharma.'


End file.
